And Now For Some Serious News…

There comes a time when we here at Low Density Lifestyle World Central Headquarters feel obligated to take a break from our usual articles and issue reports on all important matters pertaining to us, namely the human race.

Today, April 1, 2010 is one of those days. Today we are going to publish 10 incredible, hard to believe – but amazingly true – stories from around the globe that have occurred over the years.

You’ll hear about flying penguins, whistling carrots, the Big Ben going digital, and other stories that may just rock your world.

Now, some of this news may be shocking and some may be stunning, but we assure you, our crack investigative team has worked hard at uncovering these developments and fact-checked them to no end to make sure they are real.

A Pulitzer Prize is most likely beckoning for what you are about to read, so be ready, and don’t say we didn’t warn you. It may sound strange, it may not sound real, but this is the news, as best we can report it.

So get ready to read 10 of the most incredibly true stories from over the years.

1. Flying Penguins
In 2008, the BBC announced that camera crews filming near the Antarctic for its natural history series Miracles of Evolution had captured footage of Adélie penguins taking to the air. It even offered a video clip of these flying penguins, which became one of the most viewed videos on the internet. Presenter Terry Jones explained that, instead of huddling together to endure the Antarctic winter, these penguins took to the air and flew thousands of miles to the rainforests of South America where they “spend the winter basking in the tropical sun.”

2. Man Flies By Own Lung Power
In April 1934 many American newspapers, including The New York Times, printed a photograph of a man flying through the air by means of a device powered only by the breath from his lungs. Accompanying articles excitedly described this miraculous new invention. The man, identified as German pilot Erich Kocher, blew into a box on his chest. This activated rotors that created a powerful suction effect, lifting him aloft. Skis on his feet served as landing gear, and a tail fin allowed him to steer.

3. Whistling Carrots
In 2002, the British supermarket chain Tesco published an advertisement in The Sun announcing the successful development of a genetically modified ‘whistling carrot.’ The ad explained that the carrots had been specially engineered to grow with tapered airholes in their side. When fully cooked, these airholes caused the vegetable to whistle.

4. Wisconsin State Capitol Collapses
In 1933, the Madison Capital-Times solemnly announced that the Wisconsin state capitol building lay in ruins following a series of mysterious explosions. The explosions were attributed to “large quantities of gas, generated through many weeks of verbose debate in the Senate and Assembly chambers.”

5. Big Ben Goes Digital
In 1980, the BBC reported that Big Ben, in order to keep up with the times, was going to be given a digital readout. The announcement received a huge response from listeners shocked and angered by the proposed change. The BBC Japanese service also announced that the clock hands would be sold to the first four listeners to contact them.

6. Discovery of the Bigon
In 1996, Discover Magazine reported that physicists had discovered a new fundamental particle of matter, dubbed the Bigon. It could only be coaxed into existence for mere millionths of a second, but amazingly, when it did materialize it was the size of a bowling ball. Physicist Albert Manque and his colleagues accidentally found the particle when a computer connected to one of their vacuum-tube experiments exploded. Video analysis of the explosion revealed the Bigon hovering over the computer for a fraction of a second. Manque theorized that the Bigon might be responsible for a host of other unexplained phenomena such as ball lightning, sinking souffles, and spontaneous human combustion.

7. Dutch Elm Disease Infects Redheads
In 1973, BBC Radio broadcast an interview with an elderly academic, Dr. Clothier, who discoursed on the government’s efforts to stop the spread of Dutch Elm Disease. Dr. Clothier described some startling discoveries that had been made about the tree disease. For instance, he referred to the research of Dr. Emily Lang of the London School of Pathological and Environmental Medicine. Dr. Lang had apparently found that exposure to Dutch Elm Disease immunized people to the common cold. Unfortunately, there was a side effect. Exposure to the disease also caused red hair to turn yellow and eventually fall out. This was attributed to a similarity between the blood count of redheads and the soil conditions in which affected trees grew. Therefore, redheads were advised to stay away from forests for the foreseeable future.

8. Dogs to be painted white
In 1965, Politiken, a Copenhagen newspaper, reported that the Danish parliament had passed a new law requiring all dogs to be painted white. The purpose of this, it explained, was to increase road safety by allowing dogs to be seen more easily at night.

9. Guinness Mean Time
In 1998, Guinness issued a press release announcing that it had reached an agreement with the Old Royal Observatory in Greenwich, England to be the official beer sponsor of the Observatory’s millennium celebration. According to this agreement, Greenwich Mean Time would be renamed Guinness Mean Time until the end of 1999. In addition, where the Observatory traditionally counted seconds in “pips,” it would now count them in “pint drips.”

10. Tasmanian Mock Walrus
In 1984, the Orlando Sentinel featured a story about a creature known as the Tasmanian Mock Walrus (or TMW for short) that many people in Florida were supposedly adopting as a pet. The creature was said to be four inches long, resembled a walrus, purred like a cat, and had the temperament of a hamster. What made it such an ideal pet was that it never had to be bathed, it used a litter box, and it ate cockroaches. In fact, a single TMW could entirely rid a house of its cockroach problem. Reportedly, some TMWs had been smuggled in from Tasmania, and there were efforts being made to breed them, but the local pest-control industry was pressuring the government not to allow them into the country, fearing they would put cockroach exterminators out of business.

And that’s all 10 stories. Amazing, eh?

The last thing I’d like to say, for all of us here at Low Density Lifestyle World Central Headquarters, is Happy April Fool’s Day!

The Funny Side of Pharmaceuticals

The funny side of pharmaceuticals, you may ask? Is there such a thing?

Well, this is the last article for this series on drugs, and I thought, since it’s been a pretty serious series – drug use and the marketing of them is a very serious subject, with much to be concerned about – I thought why not end it with a little light-hearted fare, a little yin to balance out all the yang of this series.

Plus, with tomorrow being April Fool’s Day, why not start the humor early?

So what you’ll see on this page is a bunch of spoof drug ads, and most of the ads are really funny and very tongue in cheek. There’s a lot of satire and biting humor with these ads, as they point out the craziness of our being a drugged-out nation, but it’s done in a way that will make you smile and laugh.

Enjoy…

Yoga Humor

Zombie Yoga!!!
In the last few articles during this series on movement and exercise, I’ve discussed yoga and its relationship to living a Low Density Lifestyle.

I gave you 10 outstanding yoga videos, and then in the next article I explained the history of yoga.

Today, I will continue talking about yoga, but I will switch gears and have some fun by offering up some yoga humor.

Now you may remember that a few months ago, during the series on humor, I discussed how humor and laughter were things that helped you to feel lighter of mind, body and spirit, and thus were great tools for helping to get into Low Density Lifestyle mode.

So in that vein, I thought it’d be a good mix to combine yoga with some humor. Now, although Laughter Yoga is a form of yoga, that’s not what I’m discussing here.

So let’s start it off. First, if you watch the above video, you’ll see Zombie Yoga, with a very large Zombie Yoga class. If you’re a zombie, or considering becoming a zombie, you may want to watch how they do yoga, so that you can do the moves on your own.

Next, courtesy of The Onion, here are the top reasons Americans are doing yoga – and could it be true that Americans are doing yoga so that they can tap into the ancient wisdom of Californians?:

Next up, are some yoga jokes:

Question: How many Iyengar yogis does it take to replace a light bulb?
Answer: Only one – but he will need a sticky mat, a backless chair,
five blankets, a bolster, six ropes, two belts, six assorted benches,
three weights, and a certificate.

Question: What did the sign in the window of the yoga master searching for a new disciple say?
Answer:  Inquire within!

Question:  Why did the yogi refuse anesthesia when
having his wisdom teeth removed?  Answer:  He
wanted to transcend-dental-medication.

When teaching Setu Bandhasana (Bridge Pose) by putting a ball
between a student’s knees so they will not splay the legs apart,
this was said to a male yoga student:  “Wow!  You could fit two
balls between your legs!”

Yoga is excellent for un-kinking the muscles and the spine.
It is great if you’re really kinky.

The Yogini says to the hot dog vendor:
“Make me one with everything.”

I always wanted to be somebody, but now I see that I should
have been more specific.
-   Jane Wagner

The Ananda Yogi says to his pupil: “Do you understand that you
don’t really exist?”  The pupil replies, “To whom are you speaking?”

Eternal nothingness is okay if you’re dressed for it.
-   Woody Allen

If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?
-   Lily Tomlin

Student Exam Bloopers

1) A student wrote, “The universe is a giant orgasm” (instead of organism).  At the end of the student’s essay, the teacher riposted, “Your answer gives new meaning to the Big Bang Theory.”

2) “Involuntary muscles are not as willing as voluntary ones.”

3) “When you breathe, you inspire. When you do not breathe, you expire.”

When two Behaviorist Yogis met, one said:
“You are fine.  How am I ?”

A young woman who was worried about her habit of biting her fingernails
down to the quick was advised by a friend to take up yoga. She did, and soon
her fingernails were growing normally.  Her friend asked her if yoga had
totally cured her nervousness.  “No,” she replied, “but now I can reach
my toe-nails so I bite them instead.”

And last on the yoga humor list is a video that comes from the folks at Yoga Journal, and is about Ogden, the Inappropriate Yoga Guy:

Making Other People Happy Will Make You Happy

The Happiness series continues this week (for its final week) with a look at a very basic truth, a truth that stems from the question that I asked with the very first article in this series.

The question was: Are you happy?

Every article since in this Happiness series has played on that question.

The article on the country of Bhutan told you about a nation that put the happiness of its citizens as its number one priority in terms of formulating laws.

And the article on Happiness and Your Job discussed an important ingredient to happiness: the kind of work you do. It’s so true that if you’re not doing work that you enjoy, then it’s much harder to feel happy.

The basic truth then is this: You can make yourself happy by making other people happy…

…And one of the best ways to make other people is to be happy yourself.

But how do you know if you’re making other people happy? What are some signs?

Well, check out the below list and see if the following statements are true for you:

* Do people seem to feel comfortable confiding in you?
* Do people follow your recommendations?
* Are you a source of material comfort or security for someone else?
* Do people whom you’ve introduced often go on to have a
continuing relationship?
* Do people seem to drift toward you? Join a conversation that
you’re having, sit down next to you at a meeting?
* Are you providing opportunities for other people – job leads,
blind dates, contacts in a new city?
* Do people whom you hardly remember go out of their way to
greet you warmly? Say, an intern who worked in your office three
years ago, or a former student?
* Do people seem to want to connect with you — by making plans
or by emailing, calling, or texting?
* Do people seem energized by you? Do they smile and laugh in
your presence?

Notice some items that are not on the list:

* Do people remember your birthday?
* Do people give you presents (say, for Mothers’ Day, or in
recognition of an important milestone)?
* Do people express appreciation and gratitude for your efforts?

Even if you’re making people happy, they don’t always respond by making these gestures. (Which can be annoying.)

And so, if you want to find happiness for yourself, consider if you’re helping others be happy.

Because if you are making others happy, your life is a true gift, both to yourself and to others.

I think it’s a lot easier for most people to make other people unhappy. It takes much more work to make people happy. Because to do so means you have to live your life conscientiously and with a certain degree of mindfulness and self-realization.

And you have to be living a Low Density Lifestyle.

But it’s not hard to do. You too can be happy and at the same time make other people happy.

I finish today’s article by leaving you with this question: Are you happy? Do you make other people happy?

Happiness is…Grooving to the Beat ala Michael Jackson

You may not have noticed, but we here at the Low Density Lifestyle website have restrained from mentioning Michael Jackson’s name since his untimely death.

We didn’t want to be seen as capitalizing on the sensational nature of the news, which is what every media outlet has done around the world.

But our crack research staff has informed us that we are the only website in the world that has yet to mention his name, and so, because we are feeling the pressure, this article does indeed mention his name.

But we are referencing Michael Jackson’s name only within the context of the Happiness series, and especially the Happiness is… theme that I’ve been writing about this week.

Michael Jackson’s music at the peak of his career – in the 1980’s – was infectious, riveting and joyous, and it could get you moving in no time, even if you were someone allergic to movement and dancing.

And once you felt the infectious beat, you couldn’t help but feel happy.

And so, to finish the week’s theme of Happiness is… you’ll get to watch some videos that are fun, unique and a salute to Michael Jackson.

The above video is a young Steve Martin dancing to Billie Jean. This video comes from a TV show that Steve Martin was part of.

Steve Martin has been creating happiness for so many people for so long, that it seems a good combination: Michael Jackson’s song and Steve Martin dancing.

And the below video is pretty wild: it’s inmates in a prison in the Philippines dancing to Thriller. I’ll bet they were pretty happy to be able to pull off such a feat.

And there’s one bonus video, thrown in for good measure. Below the prisoners singing Thriller is one of my favorites, Weird Al Yankovic, performing Eat It, his gentle spoof of Michael Jackson’s hit, Beat It.

So get into it, let the beat move you, and see if you agree that Happiness is…Grooving to the Beat ala Michael Jackson.

One last note: if you read our Summer Hours, you’ll know that for the summer we are publishing articles one less day a week, 4 days instead of our usual 5 days. So we’ll see you again with the next article on Tuesday.

Happiness is…Being Happy Like a Happy Pet

I continue with the Happiness is… theme as part of the Happiness series.

Yesterday you read about Happiness is…Being Happy Like a Baby. Today you will learn the joys of being a happy animal/pet, and what we can learn from our fine furry friends.

Animals, like babies, enjoy the simple things in life, and can find joy in these things.

Which is why pet owners become so close and attached to their pet – the pets are such beacons of happiness and joy, and for the pet owner, the happiness and joy that the pet expresses rubs off on the owner.

So watch the video above, and see Jessica, the wild hippo who has become a household pet, and is incredibly happy living that existence. She is one very happy – and unique – hippo.

And in the videos below, you’ll see a number of happy animals.
There’s the dog in the sliding pool; the dancing chicken; the dancing chipmunk; and the rat and cat who are very happy together in each others company.

The Art of Happiness: Are You Happy?

Today, I begin a new series, all about Happiness.

Happiness is essential to our lives and helps us to feel more joyous and passionate about everything. The more happiness we bring into our lives, the lighter we feel of body, mind and spirit.

In other words, when you are happier you have the potential to live a Low Density Lifestyle.

And happiness and joy is one of the things that will happen more often for you when you live a Low Density Lifestyle.

But what is happiness? Why are some people more happier than others? Are they born that way?

Is there some magic formula to being happy? Is it related to how much money you have, the type of car you drive, the things you do for fun?

No, happiness runs much deeper than that.

A few years ago, former U.S. President Jimmy Carter was asked, “President Carter, have you come to any new perspectives about what matters in life, now that you’re older?”

His answer was to the point: “Earlier in my life I thought the things that mattered were the things that you could see, like your car, your house, your wealth, your property, your office. But as I’ve grown older I’ve become convinced that the things that matter most are the things that you can’t see – the love you share with others, your inner purpose, your comfort with who you are.”

This is what happiness is. It’s not about the material things you can show the world, but about how you feel about the work you do, the relationships you have, and the love you share.

And so, what are the secrets to happiness? How can you cultivate your ability to be happy, and in the process, live a Low Density Lifestyle?

Here are 12 ways:

1) Count Your Blessings
One way to practice this strategy is with a “gratitude journal” in which you write down the 3 to 5 things for which you are currently thankful. Do this once a week. Keep the strategy fresh by varying your entries and how you express them as much as possible. And if there’s a particular person who has been kind or influential in your life, don’t wait to express your appreciation. Write them a letter now, or, if possible, visit and thank them in person.

2) Practice Acts of Kindness
These should be both random and systematic. Being kind to others, whether friends or strangers, triggers a cascade of positive effects – it makes you feel compassionate and capable, gives you a greater sense of connection with others and earns you smiles, approval and reciprocated kindness. These are all happiness boosters.

3) Nurture Optimism
This involves such practices as looking at the bright side, finding the silver lining in a negative event, noticing what’s right (rather than what’s wrong), feeling good about one’s future and the future of the world, or simply feeling that you can get through the day. One way to practice this strategy is to sit in a quiet place and take 20 to 30 minutes to think about and write down what you expect your life to be 10 years from now. Imagine that everything has gone as well as it possibly could. You have worked hard and succeeded at accomplishing all of your life goals. Think of this as the realization of all of your life dreams. Then, write about what you imagined.

4) Learn to Forgive
Let go of anger, resentment, and feelings of vengeance by writing – but, not sending – a letter of forgiveness to a person who has hurt or wronged you. The inability to forgive is associated with persistent rumination or dwelling on revenge, while forgiving allows you to move on.

5) Increase “Flow” Experiences
When you’re so absorbed in what you’re doing that you don’t notice the passage of time, you are in the flow state. So, become fully engaged at work, at home, and at play. Try to increase the number of flow experiences in your life, whether it’s completing a project at the office, playing with your children, or enjoying a hobby. Seek work and leisure activities that engage your skills and expertise.

6) Invest in Relationships
One of the biggest factors in happiness appears to be strong personal relationships. Indeed, having the support of someone who deeply cares about you is one of the best remedies for unhappiness. Thus, this strategy involves putting effort into healing, cultivating, and enjoying your relationships with family and friends. Act with love, be as kind to the people close to you as you are to strangers, affirm them, share with them, and play together.

7) Avoiding Overthinking
Remember the book, Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff? There’s a time to think about the bad stuff in your life, but dwelling on your problems excessively is unhealthy. Very happy people have the capacity – even during trying times like a parent’s chronic illness – to absorb themselves in an engaging activity, stay busy, and have fun. To practice this strategy, pick a distracting, attention-grabbing activity that has compelled you in the past and do it when you notice yourself dwelling.

Savor Life’s Joys
Pay close attention and take delight in momentary pleasures, wonders, and magical moments. Focus on the sweetness of a ripe mango, the aroma of a bakery, or the warmth of the sun when you step out from the shade. Some psychologists suggest taking “mental photographs” of pleasurable moments to review in less happy times.

9) Feed Your Soul
Studies show that religious and spiritual people are happier and healthier than others. Perhaps the social support of belonging to a close-knit religious group is valuable, as is the sense of meaning and purpose that comes from touching on the spiritual aspects of life.

10) Have Goals and Stay Committed to Them
People who strive for something significant are far happier than those who don’t have strong dreams or aspirations. Find a happy person and you will find a project. However, being dedicated to any pursuit won’t make you happy if you’re just doing it for superficial reasons such as making money, boosting your ego, or succumbing to peer pressure.

11) Use Your Body: Exercise, Meditation, and Rest
Getting plenty of sleep, exercising, stretching and meditating can all enhance your mood in the short term and promote energy and strong mental health. Practiced regularly, they can help make your daily life more satisfying and increase long-term happiness.

12) Laughter
If you read the series on laughter and humor a few weeks back, you’ll recall how I discussed the value of laughter and how it can brighten your day, improve your health, and make you happier. If you want to start your day on a laughter note, you can always join a Laughter Yoga club.

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Comedy Has Always Been King

Comedy, humor and laughter have always been king. They have been an essential part of living since the dawn of humanity.

Instinctively, people have always known that humor and laughter just plain makes you feel better, and because of that, people have been trying to make each other laugh as long as there have been people walking the planet.

You may have read the article of a recent archaeological finding in which scientists found hieroglyphics on a cave that through extensive carbon dating were able to trace back to 500,000 years ago.

They were able to translate the cave writings as the following:

Q: Why did the dinosaur swallow Maury and then spit him out?
A: Because he tasted horrible without Tobasco sauce!

Granted, all those years ago, comedy wasn’t as refined as it is now, so the jokes weren’t as good.

But you get the point: humor and laughter is an important part of our DNA.

And, as I have noted many times in this series on humor and laughter, it’s an essential part of living a Low Density Lifestyle.

So as a series finale on the subject of humor and laughter, I want to present to you some kings of comedy, going back to the early part of the twentieth century.

And so, ladies and gentlemen and children of all ages, I now give you a series of videos featuring some geniuses of the art of comedy, laughter and humor:

1) Buster Keaton:

2) Laurel and Hardy:

3) Charlie Chaplin:

4) W.C. Fields:

5) The Three Stooges:

6) Abbot & Costello:

7) Monty Python:



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The 9 Benefits of Humor

For the last 2 weeks, I’ve been writing about humor and laughter.

I started the discussion by writing about how humor and laughter can be beneficial for health and can allow you to feel lighter of body, mind and spirit.

The next article was about Laughter Yoga and how people get together in Laughter Yoga clubs to laugh together.

From there, I just started writing articles designed to make you laugh, whether it was on the new depressant medication Despondex, the 1-minute book classics, or about my allegiance to the Marx philosophy.

Tomorrow, to close the series, I will return with another humorous article. But today, I want to review how humor is a positive influence in our lives by listing 9 benefits of humor and laughter.

Of course, I could just narrow it down to one – that humor and laughter are essential traits of living a Low Density Lifestyle.

But, I’ll still give you 9 benefits. Here they are:

1. Humor lessens fears.

2. Humor comforts and helps you get through difficult times.

3. Humor helps you to relax.

4. Humor reduces pain.

5. Humor boosts the immune system.

6. Humor reduces stress.

7. Humor spreads happiness.

8. Humor cultivates optimism.

9. Humor helps with communication.

And so, in conclusion, humor and laughter make you feel lighter, like you’re carrying less of a load in your body, mind and spirit. And when you feel like that, you know what that means, don’t you?

It means you’re living a Low Density Lifestyle.

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The Right Stuff

In yesterday’s article, I told you how I’m an avowed Marxist (although I haven’t decided which of the Marx family – Karl, Groucho, Chico, or Harpo – my politics most resemble.

But in order to keep it fair and balanced, I’ve decided to present a more right-wing perspective.

So today we will hear from someone with a right-wing perspective.

This person is none other than Steven Wright.

Ok, this has been a series on humor and laughter and how it can help keep you in Low Density Lifestyle mode.

Did you really think I would have someone with a right-wing perspective? There’s not much humor there, from what I can see.

Instead, I present to you someone with the right stuff, or I should say the Wright Stuff.

Steven Wright has an incredibly unique style. It’s truly a Zen style of humor.

Whatever you call it, it can help ease you into a Low Density Lifestyle point of view.

So kick back, watch the two below videos, and enjoy.

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