Relationships, Love and Sex, Part 1

With Valentine’s Day coming up, I thought a good theme to discuss for the next few weeks would be Relationships, Love and Sex.

These are complicated topics, full of pitfalls and entanglements, mishaps and risks, and also much bliss and happiness.

It’s the arena in which we can become most vulnerable, in which our deepest intimacies can become known; it can also be the arena in which our buttons are pushed to the max.

It is a risk to enter into a relationship with another, to fall in love, and to have sexual relations with another, because the heart is the most fragile of organs.

Many a person has fallen in love only to have their heart broken, and then to swear off ever being in love again; they put a shield around their heart, and enclose it so that it becomes difficult for them to easily feel again.

Being in a relationship and in love is when you are challenged to be the most brutally honest, because it is when your heart and soul is touched by another. You are then forced to either get in touch with your own deepest feelings, or else run away and bury those feelings deep down within.

Everyone wants to be loved, but you also need to know how to love. It takes opening your heart, authenticity, the ability to communicate, compassion, tenderness, understanding, the letting down of your guard, the lessening of expectations, and the ability to be humble and not let your ego take control.

In another words, this love thing is a tall order.

Many books exist on the subject, but even the experts are not always expert – for instance, noted relationship author and expert Barbara De Angelis has been married five times.

Obviously, getting the love thing down can be complicated.

Life is messy, full of chaos and unpredictability, and so even the best of relationships can be messy. The map of the human heart has many roadblocks and detours along the way.

It is my belief, and I will delve into this with tomorrow’s article, that the more of a Low Density Lifestyle you live, the better your chances of finding a lasting relationship, especially if it is with another person who also lives that way. That is because when two people come together who both live a Low Density Lifestyle, there is a sense of calm and inner peace already within the relationship, leading to less potential for possible friction that can cause problems.

Now, you can work on yourself till the cows come home, but the real test comes when you’re in a relationship, when love comes knocking on your door, and when you have the closest and most intimate of all encounters, the experience of sex, because this is when we are fully tested.

Sex, especially, is a subject that is often considered taboo and not to be talked about in polite circles. Granted, you don’t want to be shouting off a rooftop about your sex life, nor is it necessary to talk about it with everyone you meet. After all, it is a personal matter.

But we are a sexually repressed culture, afraid to fully express our primal needs and enjoy the full pleasures of sex.

On my intake form that I have my patients fill out at their initial appointment, I have an area that I ask how they feel about their personal lives, work, family, diet and sex life. I ask people to rate it, from great, to good, fair and poor. Most of my patients rate their sex life fair or poor. A small number rate it good, and a tiny fraction call it great.

But it shouldn’t be that way. After all, it is the most natural of acts.

Again, I believe the more of a Low Density Lifestyle a person leads, the better their sex life.

After all, if you remember the interview I did with Mimi Kirk (it was the third part), the 71-year-old woman named by PETA as the sexiest vegetarian over 50, she candidly mentioned that her sex life (with her boyfriend 19 years her junior) was great.

I’ll revisit this more in-depth tomorrow, so tune in tomorrow…

Go to Where Your Spirit is Invited to Open Up

Tomorrow starts a new series, on Relationships, Love and Sex – with Valentine’s Day coming up, this is the perfect topic.

But before we begin the new series, today, as a brief interlude between the new series and the one that just ended on Longevity, we have an article guest written by poet and essayist Susan Jefts, entitled Go to Where Your Spirit is Invited to Open Up.

Susan, whose work has appeared on the Low Density Lifestyle website before, most recently with her article that featured her poems, The Poetic Nature of Life, is a poet who lives in Saratoga Springs, NY. She runs writing groups in therapeutic and community settings using poetry as a tool for exploring life issues and healing.

Susan teaches writing and advises students for Empire State College and has had her poetry published in several journals and books regionally and throughout the country, including Big City Lit, Parnassus Literary Journal, The Hudson River Anthology and Metroland, among others.

Her website is www.saratogapoetryroom.com.

There’s nothing more central to living a Low Density Lifestyle than having a sense of inner peace. This article is about finding that sense of peace in the silence and stillness of winter.

Here now is Susan’s article, Go to Where Your Spirit is Invited to Open Up:

Sometimes it’s in the most unlikely months and times of year that our spirits are invited to open up the widest. For instance, I think winter can in many ways be a time of discovery. Of being taken unexpectedly, much like a good poem, to new places both inner and outer.

Like many people, I have mixed feelings about winter. But I believe that certain experiences of this season can carry us, if we let them, into both the magical landscapes around us and the deeper regions of our hearts.

It is true that there is indescribable beauty to be found on a snow-covered lake while small clouds dance with sunlight on the summits high above you. Everything literally glistens, and the silence is impossible to describe. I can only think of it as the kind that one finds while moving into deep meditation. Only you get to keep your eyes open.

I am thinking of a particular place in the high peaks area of the Adirondacks, one that has been with me since I skied there with friends on a sunny thirty-degree day in early January. Although, really it has been with me since I first hiked there one summer almost twenty years ago. But this was the first time I had been there in winter.

After the 3 1/2 mile ski on an old road through the woods, we arrived at the long narrow lake, its icy cliffs and steep mountains hugging the shoreline. I had never been out on the lake and knew this was a big part of why I’d come. To ski down that long frozen waterway, to experience the intense beauty of this setting from deep inside it rather than from the shore, where you can only look longingly down its length.

I’ve always been drawn to exploring lakes, but certain ones hold a unique allure, and this was one of them. It had to do, I think, with the particular arrangement of water, cliffs and mountains. And the presence of several high peaks looming above, invoking a strong feeling of awe and wonderment. But it has to do with something else, too, that I’ve been trying for years to name.

I set off skiing down the lake below its hovering cliffs with no audible sound but my own breath-ing and the swish of my skis. My friends had chosen to stay behind on the shore to eat their lunch, and while I had been delighting in our camaraderie and sharing that day, I didn’t mind set-ting off for a while on my own. Every few feet was a new experience for the senses: a cliff of ice reflecting the blue gray hues of the clouds, a small rush of cold air in the shadows, a feeling of inner expansiveness as I rounded a bend allowing me to see further down the lake.

This place had for a long time beckoned me with a force and beauty I couldn’t quite comprehend. I had read stories about others’ adventures down this lake and onto the next, the two separated by only a few hundred yards. And from there to who knows where. More lakes, mountains and passageways.

There are energies, I feel, that are unique to places like this. Some are from the glacially formed lake, some from the jagged mountains, some from the transient clouds changing the weather from one minute to the next. The longer I stayed, the more I felt the confluence of these energies within me.

There is an honesty in places like this that becomes almost palpable. It’s in the landscape and it starts to be in you too. You are alone and you are quiet. You feel an immensity that is undeniable. It presses down upon you, or lifts you up; perhaps you’re not sure which. I’ve often felt that mountains have spirits, and much more influence in our lives than we are aware.

I recently read a reviewer’s description of an actor in an off-Broadway play who said his performance was so complete that it had a tendency to highlight the deficiencies of the actors around him. Although I wouldn’t choose to think of people or nature in terms of deficiencies, perhaps a bit of an analogy can be made. In a place of such natural resplendence, one affect can be that our lives are reflected back to us. We can see where we feel replete and impassioned, and where we don’t. Sometimes I think I come to such places in part to learn this: to feel what is going on in my life, or not going on.

At times I’ve come away from such places with only what I arrived with and maybe a renewed appreciation for nature, and sometimes that’s been enough. But lately, like this time, I’ve come away with something more. A feeling of inner expansiveness and far reaching beauty, and a greater sense of what I’m capable of in ability and in compassion. Of harnessing possibility and passion and putting it to meaningful use.

I have felt this at times from other experiences, like meditation and yoga, but something about this was different; it was as sensuous as it was spiritual, like a great sky and lake had opened up inside of me.

And a few weeks later, they are still with me.

Winter truly can be an opening into new regions of ourselves. It might happen through an outdoor adventure as it did for me, or a more subtle experience. There are opportunities in the depths of the cold and darkness, or the brilliance of a glittering day. My experience would not have been the same in July. The energy of winter is unique and deeply spiritual.

What I learned from that day is this: Go to where your spirit feels invited to open up, wherever that might be.

Top Ten Ways to Live a Long Life

Today the series on longevity concludes with the video above on the top ten ways to live a long life.

You’ll instantly recognize the music – it’s the Beatles’ “When I’m 64.” Of course, from a longevity perspective, 64 is still just a babe in arms, but I guess when the Beatles first wrote the song, since they were in their early 20’s, 64 seemed really old.

But as you’ve seen from all the masters of longevity featured during this series, 64 years of age is just the beginning.

So enjoy the above video, and don’t forget to sing along while you learn the top ten ways to live a long life. All of them, in case you haven’t figured it out by now, are also ways to live a Low Density Lifestyle.

In other words, as I’ve pointed out during this series, if you live a Low Density Lifestyle, you’re also going to be a master of longevity, just like all the folks profiled in this series.

See you next time with a new series…this next one will be on Relationships, Love and Sex – now those are some hot-button issues.

Lessons for a Long Life From the Island of Ikaria, Greece

On the tiny island of Ikaria, off the coast of Greece, there is much to learn about living a long and healthy life, because a large percentage of the population of this island do so.

During the course of this series on Longevity, I have introduced you to various people who have lived a long and vital life, from the late Joe Rollino, to Jack Lalanne, yoga teacher Bette Calman, Dr. Shigeaki Hinohara, and Mimi Kirk (whose three-part exclusive interview with me ended yesterday), among others.

But with the above video, you can be introduced to an entire population of people, as opposed to individuals.

The above video is based on the work of Dan Buettner and the Blue Zones team, researchers who have identified certain regions of the world where people live longer.

They found that in Ikaria, and especially in the northeastern end of the island, that over one-third of everyone in the northeastern end reaches age 90. They suffer 20% less cancer and half the rate of heart disease. And there’s virtually no dementia.

In other words, they’re living the good years many people are missing. Years we could possibly have by just adjusting a few simple habits, including:

1. Wild Greens – Greens are abundant in fields and roadsides, Ikarians frequently eat wild green salads and pies. Some contain more antioxidants than green tea or wine.
2. Herbal Teas – The common herbal teas consumed here contain compounds that lower blood pressure and decrease the risk of heart disease and dementia.
3. Low sense of time urgency – Feeling less obligation to one’s schedule and day is shown to lower heart-harming stress hormones.
4. Daily naps – Taking a 30-minute nap at least five times a week can decrease the risk of heart attack by 35 percent.
5. Mountain living – Here, every trip out of the house occasions a mini workout. People get their daily exercise without thinking about it. Studies show the mountain people have lower cardio vascular disease.
6. Strong sense of community – Family and village support create strong social connections, which are proven to promote longevity.
7. Goat’s milk – 80 percent of all people over 90 have consumed goat’s milk many times per week throughout their life. It is rich in blood-pressure lowering tryptophan and antibacterial compounds.
8. Ikarian diet – The Ikarian variation of Mediterranean Diet is high in vegetables, beans, and low in meat and sugar. Uniquely, though, it’s lower in grains and fish, but high in potatoes.

In the U.S., cancer costs almost $250 billion per year, heart disease another approximately $500 billion and dementia yet another $175 billion. If people of the U.S. could live Ikaria’s lifestyle, rates could be cut in half and half a trillion dollars could be saved.

People of Ikaria are clearly living a Low Density Lifestyle, and living long and vital lives because of it. There’s a lot of life lessons for living a long life that we can learn from the people of Ikaria, Greece, if only we can heed the call.

One of the biggest lessons to be learned is that living a High Density Lifestyle will surely affect the quality of your life both in terms of health and your lifespan.

An Interview with Mimi Kirk, Part 3

Today is the last installment of the three-part exclusive interview I recently did with Mimi Kirk, the 71-year-old winner of PETA’s sexiest female vegetarian over 50 award.

Mimi has a lot of valid things to say about health and wellness, and she’s an incredible role model for anyone of any age. Just watching her in this and the previous two interviews can teach you a lot about being and becoming healthy.

Mimi’s interview fits in well with this series on Longevity, because, although Mimi is far younger than all of the other masters of longevity I have profiled in this series, what she discusses is clearly the secrets to living a long and vital life.

In case you missed the previous interviews I did with Mimi Kirk, you can click on the links below to see them:
An Interview with Mimi Kirk, Part 1
An Interview with Mimi Kirk, Part 2

As you watch the above video, you’ll hear Mimi talk about:

***why it’s not genes and family history that dictate whether you’ll be sick as you age

***why medications can be toxic to your health and why they’re not the answer to getting healthy

***why developing good health is simple

***why she loves eating a raw foods diet

***what her favorite creative pastimes are

***her upcoming book, “How to Be Healthy and Hot At Any Age.”

***why her sex drive is strong

***that she feels incredibly healthy and full of life

***what she does to keep her skin youthful and vital (hint: she’s never used botox or plastic surgery)

***how people can connect with her and find out what she’s up to. (here’s how to get to her Facebook page: Mimi Kirk’s Facebook page.)

So, I hope you enjoyed the interview I did with Mimi Kirk, and got a lot out of it. I surely did.

I’ll be back tomorrow with another article in this series on Longevity, so see you then.

An Interview with Mimi Kirk, Part 2

Today I continue with the second part of a three-part exclusive interview I recently did with Mimi Kirk, who is no ordinary 71 year old. In 2009, when she was 70, Mimi was voted by PETA as the sexiest vegetarian female over 50.

If you didn’t see the first part of the interview with Mimi Kirk, don’t forget to review it by clicking on this link:
An Interview with Mimi Kirk, Part 1

The interview was conducted over skype with only one technical snafu – about halfway through today’s interview Mimi’s screen froze, so you’ll see me wait about 10 seconds until Mimi’s screen unfroze. After that the interview continued without a hitch.

As you watch the above video, you’ll hear Mimi talk about:

***why to become healthy you need to become empowered and take responsibility for your health

***how she manages to wear out her boyfriend, who’s 19 years younger than she is

***why the way you think, your attitude about life, your happiness, and your ability to laugh are also crucial to health, along with diet

***what holds people back from changing their diet and making healthy lifestyle choices

***how she manages to live a stress-free life

***what the common threads are amongst people who live long lives

***how to start living a healthier lifestyle

***why eating meat and dairy is unhealthy

***that she takes no medications, and also takes no supplements

***why she shops primarily at farmer’s markets

Mimi Kirk has a lot to say, and all of it is valid. I think you’ll agree with me, as you watch this video, that Mimi is an incredible inspiration to all of us.

Tomorrow I’ll be back with the last installment of this three-part interview, so don’t forget to tune in tomorrow…

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