Why I’m an Avowed Marxist

I have made it a point to stay away from discussing politics on this website, as it’s something that can become so polarizing and cause a lot of stress.

And as you all know, I’m for things that manage stress and encourage stress relief and keep you far away from High Density Lifestyle mode.

I’m trying to help you live a Low Density Lifestyle, and I know if I start sharing my political beliefs, it’s bound to make some of you quite uptight.

But I’ve decided I can’t hold back anymore. Even though this series is about humor and laughter, I’ve decided to let it all hang out and tell you where I’m coming from.

And no, I’m not telling you this because I’ve been taking too much Despondex.

And so here’s the real deal: yes, I’m an avowed Marxist. And not only do I think the Marxist approach is the best approach, I believe it’s something that should be taught in school right from kindergarten.

And in these recessionary times, what better approach is there to adopt than Marxism?

Let’s delve into this further. What does Marx have to teach us? Such things as:
***Why a Duck?
***There ain’t no Sanity Clause
***Never join a club that would have you as a member

Huh, you say? You don’t remember this from your copy of Das Kapital? Well, if you’ve been reading Das Kapital, then you’ve got the wrong Marx, brother.

I’m talking the real Marx Doctrine: the world according to Groucho, Chico, Harpo, and occasionally Zeppo.

This is the type of Marxism we need!

The Brothers Marx were masters of inspired Zen lunacy, and to this day, the likes of what they did has never been repeated.

They took comedy, humor and laughter to a whole new visionary level. It was enlightened humor, the type that easily puts you into Low Density Lifestyle mode.

And that’s the kind of Marxist approach we need now more than ever, brother (and sister).

Oh, and by the way, if I think about it even more, I’m not just a Marxist, but a Marxist-Leninist. Or more correctly, a Marxist-Lennonist, as in John, the man behind All You Need is Love, Across the Universe and Imagine.

He was a man with vision, and if there’s anything the world needs now, it’s people with vision. These are the true Low Density Lifestylers.

I say: how about starting a movement, the Marxist Zen lunacy humor movement, or the Marxist-Lennonist visionary movement?

Either way, it’s time we all become avowed Marxists.

For your viewing and laughing pleasure, here are three classics of the Marx Brothers in action:

This clip is the Stateroom Scene from “A Night at the Opera”:

This clip is the Contract Scene between Groucho and Chico, also from “A Night at the Opera.” It contains the famous “Sanity Clause”:

This is the Mirror Scene from “Duck Soup”:

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It’s Foto Funny Time!!

Last week I discussed humor and laughter and how it’s an important aspect for living a Low Density Lifestyle.

Humor and laughter keeps you feeling light, and as the old saying goes, light makes might, or something like that.

Humor and laughter is good for your health – physical and mental – and good for your spirit.

So I want to continue with the humor vein this week, and by doing so, help you to feel lighter and more in the Low Density Lifestyle mode.

Today, it’s Foto Funny Time! Time to look at some ridiculous photos and chuckle and snort over them. Ok, you ready? Then let’s go!

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Total Eclipse of the Heart – The Literal Version

I’ve been discussing laughter and humor all week, because they are essential aspects of helping you to feel lighter, and helping you to get in the Low Density Lifestyle mode.

Actually, as of the article the other day on the new depressant medication Despondex, I’m not discussing laughter and humor as much as just writing articles that are aimed at making you laugh and chuckle.

Ditto for yesterday’s article on the ultra-condensed versions of many classic stories.

And for today, check out the above video – it’s really funny. It’s a spoof – called the Literal Version – of a music video that came out quite awhile ago for the hit song Total Eclipse of the Heart.

The song Total Eclipse of the Heart come out in 1983 and was sung by Bonnie Tyler. You still hear it from time to time, as it is a ballad that has endured.

The original video, the one that the above spoof video is based on, was very serious – you can see it below, if you are so inclined. I like the above Literal Version better.

Plus it’s funny as all hell, while the original one borders on pretentious.

But, you be the judge. Just remember to have fun while watching.

And remember the more you laugh, the more you get in Low Density Lifestyle mode. And that’s not a bad thing.

If you’re having trouble getting the guffaws and chuckles out, you can always take up Laughter Yoga.

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In 1 Minute or Less, the Greatest Books Ever Written

First off, a number of people have asked me about yesterday’s article and video about the new depressant medication Despondex. Is it real, they wondered? Is there really a medication that will stop people from being cheery?

Of course not (though I’m starting to wonder what’s in my water supply).

It obviously was a humor piece, something that was aimed at making you chuckle.

This entire series is on humor, after all. The first article on the benefits of humor and laughter explained the importance of it and how and why it can keep you feeling light of body, mind and spirit, and keep you in Low Density Lifestyle mode.

But as of yesterday’s article, I’m not here to tell you why humor is important for living a Low Density Lifestyle. Instead the articles are aimed at making you laugh.

So today, courtesy of the scholars at Book-a-Minute Classics, I want to give you ultra-condensed versions of classic books. These condensed versions will tell you everything you need to know about the book, and shave off all the fluffy frills.

Never again will you have to read a classic book, thanks to Book-a-Minute Classics.

So here comes 15 of your favorite stories. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest by Ken Kesey

Nurse Ratched
I destroy my patients psychologically so I can have power and control.

Randall P. McMurphy
But freedom and happiness are good things.

Nurse Ratched
Lobotomy time for you, buster.

(McMurphy DIES but inspires HOPE so OTHERS may LIVE.)
THE END

Lord of the Flies by William Golding

(Some BOYS crash on an ISLAND.)

Ralph
We need a fire.

(They make a fire. It goes out.)

Ralph
We need a fire.

(They make a fire. It goes out.)

Ralph
We need a fire.

Jack
Forget the fire. Let’s kill each other.

Other Boys
Yeah!

(They do.)
THE END

Walden by Henry David Thoreau

Henry David Thoreau
A truly rich man doesn’t have money but rather courage, truth, and an inner glory that transcends the passiveness of our physical beings. That’s why I’m going to live in the boonies.

(Two years later…)

I’m getting the heck out of here and getting my pencil-making job back. Um. But what I said still goes.
THE END

Finnegans Wake by James Joyce

James Joyce
I have created my own language to tell the cyclical history of humanity.

Reader #1
Brilliance!

Reader #2
(dies)
THE END

A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens

Ebenezer Scrooge
Bah, humbug. You’ll work thirty-eight hours on Christmas Day, keep the heat at five degrees, and like it.

Ghost of Jacob Marley
Ebenezer Scrooge, three ghosts of Christmas will come and tell you you’re mean.

Three Ghosts of Christmas
You’re mean.

Ebenezer Scrooge
At last, I have seen the light. Let’s dance in the streets. Have some money.
THE END

The Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway

Stock Hemingway Narrating Character
It was in Europe after the war. We were depressed. We drank a lot. We were still depressed.
THE END

The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger

Holden Caulfield
Angst angst angst swear curse swear crazy crazy angst swear curse, society sucks, and I’m a stupid jerk.
THE END

Hamlet by William Shakespeare

Hamlet
Whine whine whine…To be or not to be…I’m dead.
THE END

The Collected Work of Edgar Allan Poe

Some Guy
Oh no. I’m buried alive!

Narrator
I died.

Raven
Nevermore.
THE END

The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck

Tom Joad
Our farm has been taken away. Let’s go to California.

(They do. On the way, there are calamities, and people DIE, because this is the Great Depression when times were HARD, and it was a struggle just to hold on to one’s DIGNITY.)
THE END

Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain

Huckleberry Finn
(Goes rafting. Goes home.)
THE END

Death of a Salesman by Arthur Miller

Willy Loman
Everytime something bad happens, I go back in time to happier occasions.

Biff Loman
I’m a bum.

Willy Loman
Here I go again.

(Willy Loman goes back in time. Then he runs out of times to go back to, so he dies.)
THE END

Metamophosis by Franz Kafka

Gregor Samsa
Holy crap, I’m a vermin thingie!

(He DIES…eventually.)
THE END

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen

Mr. Darcy
Nothing is good enough for me.

Ms. Elizabeth Bennet
I could never marry that proud man.

(They change their minds.)
THE END

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams

(The Earth gets BLOWN UP.)

Arthur
I’m a bit upset about that.

Ford
Yes, I can understand that.

(They fly around the galaxy. They go UNDERGROUND, where they see…)

Arthur
The Earth.

Deep Thought
Forty two.
THE END

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At Last! A Drug to Reduce the Symptoms of Insufferable Cheeriness

I’ve been telling you about the benefits of laughter and humor as an important component to living a Low Density Lifestyle, and how there are Laughter Yoga clubs all around the world to spread the good cheer everywhere.

But let’s face it: is it really a good thing for people to be full of laughter and good cheer all the time?

I mean, how many of us were berated by teachers when we were growing up for being too perky and bubbly? And how many of us were told the infamous line by a teacher or even parent: “Wipe that smile off your face.”

Well, isn’t there a good reason that we were taught this important fact of life? Absolutely!

We can’t be happy and cheery all the time! It would be insufferable for everyone.

And now, thanks to the good folks at Pfizer, there’s a new drug to treat this condition. It’s the first-ever depressant medication to come on the market, and it goes by the name of Despondex.

It’s a drug for the annoyingly cheerful.

Watch the above news report to learn more about it.

And then ask your doctor if Despondex is right for you – it just might be.

And ignore the critics who say we don’t need drugs for this type of treatment, that there are natural ways to snap out of a good mood, such as eating high fructose corn syrup and white bread.

Don’t believe them. We need Despondex, and we need it now!!!!!!

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You Wanna Laugh? Do Some Laughter Yoga!

I told you in yesterday’s article that laughter and humor is good for your health, it makes you feel lighter of body, mind and spirit, and is an essential component of living a Low Density Lifestyle.

So, if laughter is something that is good for your body, mind and spirit, doesn’t it seem natural that it could become a form of yoga?

Absolutely! Welcome to Laughter Yoga.

It’s guaranteed to make you laugh, make you lighter, and make you healthier. Who couldn’t ask for more?

Laughter Yoga was the brainchild of an Indian doctor, Dr. Madan Kataria, who while researching an article on the health benefits of laughter, realized that he was too serious for his own good.

So he gathered some people one day in a park in Mumbai and began a Laughter Yoga club. The idea caught on and now there are Laughter Yoga clubs all around the world.

Watch the above videos and learn for yourself about Laughter Yoga. In the first video, a man who knows a thing or two about laughter, John Cleese of Monty Python fame, visits Dr. Kataria and his Laughter Yoga club.

Cleese even goes into a prison for a session of Laughter Yoga with the inmates. You’ll notice while the prisoners are whooping it up and having a grand old time, the guards look deadly serious.

Probably because they’re worried that there might be a prison outbreak of laughter that would infect them.

And in the second video from CNN, Dr. Sanjay Gupta looks at Laughter Yoga and its health benefits.

After you watch the videos, make sure you let out a belly laugh or two. And if you can’t find a Laughter Yoga club in your area, here’s the website to go to find out more: http://www.laughteryoga.org

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Living Life Lightly, Living Life with Humor and Laughter

One of the best ways to feel lighter of body, mind and spirit is to infuse your life with humor and laughter.

In fact, keeping humor and laughter in your life is one of the 12 steps of living a Low Density Lifestyle, and it will bring you much happiness and joy.

There’s something special about laughter. It allows you to take yourself less seriously, and in the process causes you to lighten up.

It’s well known that laughter is good for the health. In one of the most famous and well-documented cases of how laughter can be healing, Norman Cousins, who went on to write about his case in his best-selling book, Anatomy of an Illness, healed from a terminal illness by watching funny movies.

The Greek philosopher Aristotle viewed laughter as “a bodily exercise precious to health.”

Studies have shown that laughter drops the blood pressure and is linked to healthy function of blood vessels. Laughter appears to cause the tissue that forms the inner lining of blood vessels, the endothelium, to dilate or expand in order to increase blood flow.

That makes sense, because when you laugh you can feel your body open up – this is the blood moving through the body and dilating blood vessels.

Other studies have shown that laughter can cause a drop in the blood’s concentration of the stress hormone cortisol. Because chronically elevated cortisol levels have been shown to weaken the immune system, this can help ward off disease.

And other experiments have indicated that laughter increases the activity of immune cells called natural killer cells in the saliva of healthy subjects.

Psychologists and mental health experts have also found that laughter and comedy can be a remedy for stress, depression, or just feeling down.

Laughter can also help with pain. As early as 1928, New York physician James J. Walsh noticed that laughter seemed to dampen pain after surgery. Since then, research has indicated that humor can have painkilling properties. One 1996 study demonstrated that patients who watched funny movies needed less of their mild painkillers after orthopedic surgery than did patients who viewed serious flicks or nothing at all.

In addition to suppressing pain, being funny and cheerful can cultivate friendships. Cheerful people have a lighthearted interaction style that facilitates bonding closely with others and builds social support.

And get this, single people: people with a sense of humor may get more dates. In 2006 psychologists Eric R. Bressler of Westfield State College and Sigal Balshine of McMaster University in Ontario reported that women are more likely to consider a man in a photograph a desirable relationship partner if the picture is accompanied by a funny quote attributed to the man. In fact, the women preferred the funny men despite rating them, on average, less intelligent and less trustworthy.

And other research indicates that both men and women value a “sense of humor” when choosing a partner.

According to 18th-century philosopher Immanuel Kant, laughter is one of a trio of tactics humans may use to counterbalance life’s troubles. The others are hope and sleep.

So, if you want to lighten up, if you want to live a Low Density Lifestyle, and if you want to get out of the rut of living a High Density Lifestyle, then make sure that you have laughter and humor in your life.

And so the bottom line is: don’t take yourself too seriously.

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Sing Along With Sugar

I’ve been writing about sugar and all its variations for the last few weeks now, and today is the last of the series on it.

To close out, I leave you with a video I made set to some bubblegum music – how pertinent to sugar, eh?

So get ready to sing and clap your hands, all in honor of sugar.

Do you love sugar? I hate to break the bad news to you, but sugar doesn’t love you back, no matter what the song may tell you.

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A Look at Agave Syrup

Last week I discussed stevia, the natural alternative to sugar. I gave the pros and cons of it, and said there were some issues with stevia and it wasn’t all it was cracked up to be.

Because of my criticism of stevia, I have had people ask me about agave syrup, and wondering if that was any better. So I thought I would take a look at agave and tell you more about it.

As I’ve discussed throughout this series on sugar and all its variations, sugar is just flat out not good for your health.

So maybe agave, as a natural product is better for you? Let’s find out.

Agave syrup is a sweetener commercially produced in Mexico, from several species of agave plant, including Agave tequilana (also

called Blue Agave or Tequila Agave), and the Salmiana, Green, Grey, Thorny, and Rainbow varieties. Agave syrup is sweeter than honey, though less viscous.

It is a common misconception that Agaves are cacti. Agaves are closely related to the lily and amaryllis families, and are not related to cacti.

Agave syrup consists primarily of fructose and glucose, and has a very high fructose concentration.

The extremely high percentage of fructose (higher than that of high-fructose corn syrup) can be deleterious and can trigger fructose malabsorption, metabolic syndrome, hypertriglyceridemia, decreased glucose tolerance, hyperinsulinemia, and accelerated uric acid formation.

Agave syrup was originally used to make tequila. When agave syrup ferments, it literally turns into tequila. In Mexico, there are three major producers of agave syrup. Some of these companies have other divisions that make tequila.

Some of the agave syrup producers water down agave with corn syrup in Mexico before it is exported to the USA. Why is this done? Most likely because agave syrup is expensive, and corn syrup is cheap.

Agave syrup is a low glycemic food and as such is marketed to diabetics. The reason agave syrup is low glycemic is because of the unusually high concentration of fructose compared to the small amount of glucose in it.

Nowhere in nature does this ratio of fructose to glucose occur naturally. One of the next closest foods that contain almost this concentration of glucose to fructose is high fructose corn syrup. Even though fructose is low on the glycemic index, there are numerous problems associated with the consumption of fructose in such high concentrations as found in concentrated sweeteners.

Eating a food with a high concentration in fructose like agave syrup (and high fructose corn syrup) is hard

on the liver. Whereas glucose is metabolized by every cell in the body, fructose is metabolized primarily in the liver, and this can lead to the formation of fats in the liver.

Studies have shown changes in circulating lipids when subjects eat high-fructose diets, and triglyceride levels that rose when people consumed foods containing more fructose than glucose, such as agave syrup.

Another study found that fructose consumption raised blood levels of uric acid, which can foster “metabolic syndrome,” a condition of insulin resistance and abdominal obesity associated with heart disease and diabetes.

So there you have it about agave syrup. I will conclude this article by saying the same thing I said when I concluded my article on stevia:

The truth about sugar is that the best types of sugar are the natural occurring sugars that are in whole foods. These are complex carbohydrates: whole grains, fresh vegetables and fruits, and legumes.

Any other form of sugar is much harder for the body to process and metabolize, so if you are to use sugar, you want to use as natural a source as possible, and to use it lightly.

Agave syrup is a natural type of sweetener, but as you read, it has its drawbacks. If you use it, as I said, go lightly.

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Should Soft Drinks Be Taxed to Help Pay for Health Care Reform?

Over the last two days I’ve written articles about how bad for your health soda and Red Bull, the world’s top-selling “energy drink,” are.

Most public health advocates are in agreement on this. And some are now calling for creating a separate tax on soft drinks in order to help pay for health care reform and as a way to help promote preventative health measures.

Soft drinks are the only beverage or food that has been shown to increase the risk of obesity. And obesity, in turn, promotes heart disease, diabetes, cancer, and other expensive-to-treat diseases. All told, Americans spend about $90 billion a year in direct medical costs related to obesity, of which half is paid with Medicare and Medicaid taxpayer dollars.

Studies of soda consumption have shown that teenage boys who drink soft drinks consume an average of three 12-ounce cans and girls an average of two 12-ounce cans per day.

Studies also show that one in 10 boys who drinks soft drinks consumes five-and-a-half 12-ounce cans a day, or about 800 calories worth. It’s not the only reason, but the increase in soda consumption since the 1970s certainly helps explain why obesity rates have tripled in teens.

Advocates have called for a federal excise tax on soft drinks of anywhere from one cent per 12-ounce can to one cent per ounce of soft drink.

The higher the tax, the advocates state, the more money it would raise and the greater incentive would there be for reduced consumption, which would in turn help to reverse the obesity problem and improve overall health, thus cutting health care costs.

It has been estimated that a tax of one cent per 12-ounce can would raise $1.5 billion per year, and reduce consumption by 1 percent. And a tax of one cent per ounce would raise about $16 billion a year and reduce consumption by more than 10 percent.

One article that appeared recently in the New England Journal of Medicine, written by the New York City Health Commissioner, Dr. Thomas Frieden, advocated for the one cent per ounce excise tax, and said that based on experience with tobacco taxes, a soda tax would be “highly effective” in reducing the $79 billion in annual health care costs associated with obesity and overweight across the country.

Dr. Frieden argued that an excise tax would be more effective than a traditional sales tax and provide an incentive to buy less soda. The article says that since the mid-1990s, children have been drinking more beverages containing sugar than they do milk.

“Diet-related diseases also cost society in terms of decreased work productivity, increased absenteeism, poorer school performance and reduced fitness on the part of military recruits,” he wrote.

In a recent interview in support of his article, Dr. Frieden said that the Bloomberg administration in New York City had tried to combat obesity through calorie labeling, banning trans fats and serving one percent milk in school cafeterias.

But, he said, “Soda is the big one.”

Predictably, the soda industry shot back with a defense of their products. Susan Neely, president of the American Beverage Association, issued a statement in response to the article:

“We agree that obesity is a serious and complex problem. It defies both science and common sense, however, to think singling out one product as a unique contributor to obesity will make a dent in the problem.”

Gee, what a surprise her statement is.

Other critics argue that a soda tax is regressive, because it will disproportionally hurt lower income people more than higher income folks.

That’s true as far it goes, but if soda tax revenues are used to help pay for expanded health care coverage and for prevention, lower-income Americans will enjoy the biggest share of the benefit.

So what do you think about taxing soft drinks? Feel free to leave a comment below.

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